If not Love
by Milaya Milen Zeal
Summary: What made her rush off after her husband? What thoughts ran through Gwendolyn’s head when she stood over Oswald’s sickbed?


**_If not Love_**

Fandom: Odin Sphere

Pairing: Oswald x Gwendolyn

Rating: G

Genre: Romance

Summary: What made her rush off after her husband? What thoughts ran through Gwendolyn's head when she stood over Oswald's sickbed?

Note: This story was inspired by a single bit from the story "Favor", but I just liked the idea so much that I had to do this… (And yes, I did have the game set to Japanese voices, so Ill add the "sama" suffix to Oswald's name when Gwen addresses him.)

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Why did this bother her so much…? Why had it bothered her so much, that she'd rush after him when he had explicitly told her to wait for him? After all, what she was feeling was merely because of her father's spell, wasn't it? Because surely, had she been given the chance, and choice, of choosing a husband, it surely would have never been him.

Even so, she had run off after him, not only disobeying his command, but also getting into an "argument" with the Inferno King. Had it really been worth it? Risking the Inferno Kings wrath was never a good thing, that she knew, but his words had hit a sore spot with her. But the way he had spoken to her, she had felt nothing but anger for him.

For some reason, when he had given her his offer of voiding Oswald's promise to him in exchange for her hand, she was reminded of her husband's words to her. No, not for some reason. It had been the look in Onyx's eyes. It had been the same as the one Brigan had always had around many of the Valkyrie, and she was once more reminded of how men at home thought of women.

They were considered as objects to them. Nothing more…

But Oswald… his words to her just before he left…

"You are not an object, and I will not let anyone treat you as thus. Never…"

That, along with the look on his face, had made her face heat up. She had backed away then, ducking her head away from his eyes, before he walked past her. The look on his face had been so different from what she had ever seen thus far. It was almost like he actually cared.

And after hearing from both Odin and Onyx what he had done for her, she couldn't deny that he did. If she had to make a choice between Onyx and Oswald, she would definitely go for Oswald, if only because in his eyes, she wasn't just an object that was his to play with.

Maybe that was why she had been so determined to get him back in one piece. She couldn't even describe the desperation as she hurried to the Fire Origins Shrine to find her husband. Though she would have liked to blame the drops of water rolling down her cheeks on the heat of her surroundings, she knew it was useless to lie to herself for long. She had nearly been sick with worry, and her tears had rolled freely along with her sweat as she hurried onward to find Oswald.

And then she found him, the relief that washed over her overpowered her fear of the dragon of prophecies. She knew very well that Leventhan, if it really was that dragon, could probably kill her without second thought, but she couldn't let it get to Oswald.

By some miracle, or some stroke of luck, she had won, too. Her injuries, compared to Oswalds, had been minor, but it had still taken so much effort to get him home.

Home…

Before all of this, her home would have been in the castle with her father and the other Valkyrie, but now, her only home was the old castle in the forest of Elrit. It should have bothered her, and at first, it probably had, but, after spending enough time in that place, she had gotten quite attached to the beautiful, old castle.

Myris and Brom had been worried, she had expected as much, but she just couldn't leave Oswald. She just didn't want to leave him again, for fear that something would happen to him again. Which was a stupid thought, but it probably had something to do with the fact that she had almost lost him back there.

He just looked so pale it was scary.

She just continued to sit on a chair nearby, a cup of tea sitting forgotten in her hands. He lay perfectly still, breathing so softly it was barely noticeable. She couldn't bring herself to look away from him, as if looking away would cause something bad to happen. She couldn't explain what was wrong with her, but she just couldn't look away.

Myris and Brom had gone to bed already, but Gwendolyn didn't dare to return to her room and leave Oswald to the darkness of the night. It was like she was afraid something would come for him while she was safe in her own bed. It was a silly thought, but just that was enough to keep her up and by his side. Even if he would scold her for not listening to him once he woke up, itd be worth it as long as he opened his eyes and looked at her with those garnet eyes.

Why was she thinking about his eyes, _now_ anyway?

But it was the truth; she really wanted him to look at her again, even if it was only for an instant. She wanted him to say her name, just to ensure that he was still there.

Why did her heart ache so badly…? Was that also because of her fathers spell?

"…Oswald-sama…" Was that her voice? Why did it sound so broken…?

She set her cup aside on the nightstand, and reached out under the covers, taking his hand and bringing it to her face, but then she hesitated for a moment. After a tense couple of seconds, she placed his hand upon her cheek, closing her eyes and leaning into the gesture, even if Oswald wasnt conscious at this point. His hand was cold, also, but she tried not to let it get to her, and just held his hand there, wishing it could somehow allow her to transfer some of her bodyheat to him.

He had been asleep for three days already, and while it probably wasn't as long as she had slept…

Before that thought could even finish, her eyes blinked open as she turned the idea over and over in her mind. And she wondered…

"What did you feel…?" she whispered softly, moving over and sitting down next to him without letting go of his hand. "When I was sleeping… what were you thinking?" Her thumb was moving slowly across his palm, tracing the lines she found.

"And why me…? Why did you want me as your wife…?" That question had been bothering her for a while now, but she had never dared to raise the question. They were enemies. Well, had been. And yet here he was, with her as his wife, and obviously no desire to return to the Cauldron War. At least, not any time soon. He had even slain a dragon so he could be with her.

Biting her lip for a moment, Gwendolyn took a deep breath, before she said softly: "I guess it doesn't matter… I'm just… happy that it was you I was given to…" That was true. If she had been given to Onyx… spell or not, she probably would have run away.

With one hand still holding onto his hand, she reached out with her free hand and touched his face softly. Oswald never tried to touch her without her permission. He might have gotten close enough to touch her at multiple points, but he had never actually done so without asking her first. Even that was something in which he was different from Onyx, who would touch her without even considering what she might feel about it.

But still, why was her heart beating so fast? Why does the thought of losing him hurt more than any injury she had ever sustained during any battle, including the fight against Leventhan? Was it even possible for any spell to make her feel like this? Was it even the spell?

…did it really matter?

…No.

She could feel her lips curving up into a smile as she looked down upon his solemn face, her thumb stroking over his soft cheek. "Oswald-sama… thank you…" she whispered, bending down and gently placing her lips over his, and had to stifle a breathless gasp.

After she had woken up, Oswald had never actually kissed her again. She hadnt understood why, but she had been thankful that he hadnt forced her into it until she was actually ready for it.

But now…

She was hesitant to move away, but she knew that she had to and then she became aware of something else. At some point, the hand she had been holding in her own had wrapped around hers to hold it gently. Why hadn't she even noticed that?

"Oswald-sama…?" she asked softly, almost anxiously.

He groaned softly, but he didn't wake. "…Gw…Gwen…dolyn…"

For a moment, she just looked at him, before she smiled, running her hand through his hair. Its so soft she thought absently. "I'm right here I'm not going anywhere I promise"

His only reaction was a tiny smile that stole her breath away.

Running her hand through his hair one more time, she was reluctant to pull away, but she did anyway, though she still held onto his hand, using her free hand to carefully move the blanket aside enough for her slide underneath. Bringing his hand around her, she moved closer and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his chest, listening to her husbands steady heartbeat.

Griselda had always teased her about her having a deathgrip on anything she held on to during her sleep, whether it was a pillow or Griselda after she had had a bad dream. Now, it was actually a good thing. She was not going to let anything take her husband away from her.

Just before she dozed off, she could feel Oswald's arms wrap around her and pull her even closer, with him nuzzling into her hair, causing a smile to light her face.

If this was not love, she didn't know what it was, and she really didn't care anymore if it was caused by her fathers spell or not.


End file.
